Important Update

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Cook Family Prayer Letters

Thank you!

raw honesty

Robb and I want to thank the many of you who have reached out to us and the many more who continue to pray for us. Many have also asked how we are doing and, oddly enough, that's a tough question to answer. I really don't know. Here is what I do know: God is good all the time, He does not make mistakes nor does He let His people who follow after Him wholeheartedly make critical errors in whopper decisions. I also know that God has provided us a home, our day to day needs (and then some), and He continues to draw our family closer to Himself and each other. We are grateful. So very, very grateful for our marvelous God who takes care of our needs before we know they exist.

The girls are doing really well, the first week was messy and emotional, but they really do seem like themselves again, their new selves at least. AJ reads every single item in every single isle of the grocery store with great enthusiasm and just can't believe we can get all that wonderful food in one store. She'll use Chinese words randomly in one sentence and then counts her summer math in Afrikaans. Savannah's sense of home is now divided between three countries and aches that she may not visit the other two home countries for a long time if at all. She grieves deeply for memories past but moves on just as quickly. Chloe thinks we are only in America for one year and will then move to another country. She is the most flexible person I know, besides my husband, and I learn a lot from her free spirit. We have three precious hearts to shepherd but I see the Good Shepherd tending their hearts in the sweetest of ways.

Robb is handling all the house details and works tirelessly to help with the girls, listen to my ever mixed emotions, and is taking care of more details that he won't even let me think about as I am so  easily overwhelmed in my transitioning-while-pregnant state. He continues to amaze me with his relentless commitment to take care of me and the girls and the degree to which He depends on The Lord for all things.

As for me, I miss Asia, my heart will always be there. Often Robb and I regret ever leaving Asia, it may haunt us forever. If we could of just done this or that, if we could've just embraced campus ministry, could've would've should've. Yuck. We rest in and trust in God's plans, not ours, but we still ache and praise Him with tears for the privilege to serve there.

When I think of Africa, I want to remember and forget at the same time what we saw and heard and
experienced. So much pain, suffering and violence splashed with hope, joy and giving. Two polar extremes that gnawed at me daily and sucked the life right out of me. I felt too much, I grieved too deeply. My life was an isolated one and I needed help, outlets were minimal. My ministry to my children was shifting and I fought and prayed and fasted to survive what had become a miserable existence. I was unable to process the degree of depravity around me. I felt like the only human, let alone the only missionary who couldn't cope with the depravity around us. I fought the storm and did all I could with the Lord's help to keep my eyes on Jesus, see the hope He was giving people. But no matter how long you keep your eyes on Jesus, the waves still drench you, the wind still zaps your strength. Did He choose not to still the storm, or did I not believe enough? More hauntings.

Some moments I can see God's beautiful tapestry of His plans for us, other times I feel like a total failure. But the more messy I feel, the more I feel at home with the Lord. I have seen a glimpse of my own depravity and I am overwhelmed with both humility and joy that He Has forgiven me. I yearn
with all my heart to continue to follow Him no matter the cost, be it belongings, comfort or
reputation. How grateful I am that I struggle. It keeps me raw, keeps me needy for Him, keeps me in awe of His love for me and makes me tender to enjoy His gifts both great and small.

I thank God for the many who came to Christ in our time overseas. I thank God for the way He touched lives in the states because of our willingness to follow our worthy King around the globe. And I thank God that the 5 of us have seen God at work not only around the world, but especially in the deepest cobwebby corners of our hearts. Remember, dear and precious friends, wherever God leads you, wherever you are, whatever your location or circumstances be, if it is obedience that has got you there--working 9-5, or out of work, or a stay at home mom or whatever "fill in the blank"--you may have hauntings, you may have doubts, you may feel the blah of the mundane, your faith may be challenged, but it is a worthy season if it is God ordained.

Big changes ahead

I have two big pieces of news to share with you. First, we are surprised but grateful to share with you that Katie is pregnant! We are tickled pink (or maybe blue?) about this wonderful gift from God. The girls are so excited! Savannah is hoping for twin brothers, AJ is excited as long as she doesn’t have to share her room and Chloe is very clear that she wants triplets. I don’t know where the girls are getting the idea about multiples but one surprise baby is enough for me! Katie is feeling morning sickness all day and night and is pretty tired. She takes this as a hopeful sign that all is well with the baby who is due in early January.  Katie has always longed for more children while I have been more than content with our three beautiful little girls.  With the Lord giving us this baby, we are both as excited as can be which has been a real surprise for me as the idea ofanother baby always coincided with things like work, exhaustion, expensive and little time with my wife. Now the Lord has changed my heart and this baby symbolizes hope, a new chapter, a rich life and more love to fill our home. This baby isprecious to us and we feel like God is speaking to us loud and clear about what this means for our future. 

While ministry in Africa has been beyond our wildest dreams, daily life for our family has been difficult. Katie and the girls are isolated, stressed, and unhappy though they gladly do so for Christ’s sake. As husband and father I have been concerned for many months about the emotional health of my family. I have been earnestly and desperately seeking God’s will for my most important ministry, my wife and kids. Katie has permitted me to share with you that her stress levels have been especially alarming. Before we knew God was going to bless us with a baby we even then questioned where to draw the line for the health of our family. And now being pregnant we see clearly that we cannot stay overseas. I feel the Holy Spirit has been showing me over the past 2 years that a life of overseas missions is not for my family. In faith, Katie and I have decided to choose wisdom that our family is our first ministry and we must protect it. We have decided to move back home this coming July.

The Lord has given us peace about returning home to have this baby and to regain some sense of daily living that allows us to thrive. I will not move my family to yet another new place so we will plant in Crystal Lake, Illinois where we lived before moving overseas.  I've been in touch with leadership in Orlando and they have assured me of their help in finding a ministry in the Chicagoland area. We ask that you pray with us for God’s direction as I am also open to going back into surgical nursing. 

To say we have mixed emotions is an understatement. We stepped out in faith almost 3 years ago willing to serve overseas for a lifetime.  We are disappointed to leave overseas missions but we are grateful for the many lives God has changed during our time abroad. The thought of getting our family to a healthy place and to be able to really enjoy the gift of this new little one gives us the strength to move forward.

We are excited to serve in the U.S. in whatever capacity the Lord chooses. We have seen Asians and Africans longing for the hope and love of Jesus and coming to Christ by the dozens. In America, we see the deep need for Christ to capture the hearts of a country who once believed we were one nation under God and we are excited to be a part of that again.

We will never be able to thank you enough for your eternal investment, but we are certain heaven will reveal the glorious riches of souls harvested for eternity because of your generosity and faithfulness, often at great cost and sacrifice. We will terribly miss ministry in Africa but we are hopeful and determined to continue reaching the poor and needy in our community and in Chicago.  The joy of serving the less fortunate, ministering to body, soul and mind, has been a joy inexpressible and we won't stop seeking opportunities to do so regardless of our geographic location or vocation.

Thanks again for all of your support.  You have helped us in so many ways to stay strong and make it through many difficult days as well as rejoice with us in the mighty things God has done through our partnership together. If you have any questions or concerns I am more than happy to hear from you. Our usual prayer letter will be sent out next week.

To God be the glory,

(for Katie and the girls)

my kids, your kids

Many people from home often tell me they wish their kids were experiencing what my kids are experiencing: giving clothes and food to the poor and needy, helping others as a way of life. They wish their children can see what my children see: people who have nothing, people living sold out for Jesus regardless of their living conditions. Living the way my kids live: seeing zebra's on the side of the road, learning new languages, meeting people from around the world.  I know what we are doing, what we are experiencing, what we are seeing and what we are a part of is a HUGE privilege. I am truly thankful for this path the Lord has us on!

But you know how it is, the grass is always greener on the other side, right?  So, guess what I often wish for my kids? I wish my kids were experiencing what your kids are experiencing: having friends, having family in the same country, going to school. I wish my kids could see what your kids see: football and baseball games, current cartoons, read any book they want . Live the way your kids live: opportunities galore, an AWANA program, comfort and convenience and variety. What YOU are doing, experiencing, seeing, what you are a part of is a HUGE privilege. It's the path God has you on.

Are you surprised that a missionary would want that for her kids?  I am often surprised by my feelings. But what I often just want is normalcy for my kids. I want them to have friends to play with and have relationships with. I want them to get into arguments with other kids, learn conflict resolution, have a teacher challenge them in a way I'm clueless about, have relationships with kids that make them think and laugh and make them feel special. I want them to see their grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. I want them to have access to all the opportunities America gives it's citizens. I want them to know our home culture. I want them to live in a home that has heat when it's 30 degrees at night. I want to be able to relate to them. I don't know what it's like to be a kid and live they way they are living. I feel helpless most of the time.

There is a constant battle in my heart--wanting to give them the best of everything and realizing this is God's best for them right now. 

The world and Satan want you and I to forget about eternity. These evils want us to crave the shiny things of life over the things that bring us closer to God. Oh God keep my eyes on you! Help me to want what You want for my kids! Together friends, let's choose to be faithful for the season God has us in. To accept this as His best for us. To love Him all the more for it and trust Him regardless of how we feel. And most of all, be thankful. In some seasons of life thankfulness comes easily, in other seasons it comes as an offering. 

Being a missionary seemed so easy when I was a single girl heading to Asia. But now, as a Mom, a wife, the holder of our parents' grandchildren, well, let's just say there is nothing easy about being a missionary now. But really, the concept remains the same. I must focus on Jesus and let Him carry my burdens and keep an eternal perspective. I pray that for myself, and I pray that for you.

Thanks for listening and thank you for all of your prayers and support! We continue to strive to be faithful to God in this season and faithful to your investment in our lives. To God be the glory!
Katie